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My own Bubble

I have had quite a few of you asking me, when is my next post. I have been wrapped up in my own little bubble, it's really quite nice in here.  On a serious note.  Writing down my past feelings brought back a lot of emotions and memories, some of which I had forgotten. I have needed to deal with this in my own way.  Writing this blog started my journey to true recovery. I decided to get rid of plastering up my emotions with antidepressants, no partying the nights away, no stupid training regime and no 'starving' myself or bingeing on chocolate.... These are my usual tricks to ignore the pain inside.  I have decided to feel my pain and let it burn. If I do not feel the pain, how will it go away? It wont, it will stay forever. All that pain will eat away inside, without me even realising. One day it will show its ugly head in the form of a bitter, twisted, single mum who hates men (and women) and will just be sad. I certainly do not want to be that person. I want to st...

Everyone is beautiful

I have never been short of friends and never been short of friends. At school I had lots of girlfriends and everyother week I had a new boyfriend. Haha! Although I was bullied, by just a couple of boys. They were so so mean! I was never 'miss popular' and I was never the 'boffin' I was not a 'geek' I was just me.  Thats all I have ever been, me. I'm like a jigsaw peace that doesn't quite fit, it has that extra notch on it.... I truely believe, ALL people should take ALL people for there good and bad.  Everyone is beautiful. Everyone has flaws. Everyone is strong and everyone is weak at times. Everyone has naughty secrets and everyone lies.... Why? because we are all scared of the truth. Why? Because people dictate who and what we should be. Media, schools, exams, careers, money, even our warped view of  love dictates to u s.  If we are not there idea of normal, we need to lie about who we are....Who are all these people we are worried about? Those who tr...

It's not their fault.

I have learnt a lot about parenting and whose who and what's what. What affects and what blows over.  Maybe it is my nature just to research everything!  I grew up with both my parents totally in love with each other and with them never fighting (well not in front of us) they never put the other down if they did not agree and they both respected each other for what each other did. They both equally loved my sister and I. My sister and I were cuddled, we climbed Into bed with our parents, we bathed with our mum n dad and we were sneaky and talked all night on our walkie talkies. We were spoke to honestly and if something was too adult to understand, it was toned down. We were never lied to or told things to make others look bad. We always knew the truth. We were taught that we should talk about our feelings, even if they were bad...we were never told off for our opinions. We were brought up with love and were disciplined with love. Today in 2013 our family still talks, we still...