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My own Bubble

I have had quite a few of you asking me, when is my next post. I have been wrapped up in my own little bubble, it's really quite nice in here.  On a serious note.  Writing down my past feelings brought back a lot of emotions and memories, some of which I had forgotten. I have needed to deal with this in my own way.  Writing this blog started my journey to true recovery. I decided to get rid of plastering up my emotions with antidepressants, no partying the nights away, no stupid training regime and no 'starving' myself or bingeing on chocolate.... These are my usual tricks to ignore the pain inside.  I have decided to feel my pain and let it burn. If I do not feel the pain, how will it go away? It wont, it will stay forever. All that pain will eat away inside, without me even realising. One day it will show its ugly head in the form of a bitter, twisted, single mum who hates men (and women) and will just be sad. I certainly do not want to be that person. I want to st...
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It's not their fault.

I have learnt a lot about parenting and whose who and what's what. What affects and what blows over.  Maybe it is my nature just to research everything!  I grew up with both my parents totally in love with each other and with them never fighting (well not in front of us) they never put the other down if they did not agree and they both respected each other for what each other did. They both equally loved my sister and I. My sister and I were cuddled, we climbed Into bed with our parents, we bathed with our mum n dad and we were sneaky and talked all night on our walkie talkies. We were spoke to honestly and if something was too adult to understand, it was toned down. We were never lied to or told things to make others look bad. We always knew the truth. We were taught that we should talk about our feelings, even if they were bad...we were never told off for our opinions. We were brought up with love and were disciplined with love. Today in 2013 our family still talks, we still...
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What is Antenatal Depression

We become pregnant, everyone congratulates us, amazing, well done, you must be so happy...... Umm nope!  At first I thought, I would get a few sly comments from people, 'that was quick' but I overall I was chuffed. My boyfriend was chuffed too, we were going to make a go of it and raise a little family. Together. However, for me, this is when my 'perfect man' turned from loving to controlling. OR I turned from sane, pretty,  fit, fun Lola to insane, fat, ugly, useless housewife.  I couldn't wash clothes the right way, dinner was not ready in time, C was not behaving the correct way, I was always late, doing too much for other people, I talked shit, was lazy, had a saggy arse and sex was not enough. True?? I thought so. It was confusing though because I was paid to live in the house and I had no money problems anymore. Anything I wanted I could have, if I asked.  I was always allowed out with my friends if it suited 2. Baths were ran for me on occasions and we would ...
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