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My own Bubble

I have had quite a few of you asking me, when is my next post. I have been wrapped up in my own little bubble, it's really quite nice in here.  On a serious note.  Writing down my past feelings brought back a lot of emotions and memories, some of which I had forgotten. I have needed to deal with this in my own way.  Writing this blog started my journey to true recovery. I decided to get rid of plastering up my emotions with antidepressants, no partying the nights away, no stupid training regime and no 'starving' myself or bingeing on chocolate.... These are my usual tricks to ignore the pain inside.  I have decided to feel my pain and let it burn. If I do not feel the pain, how will it go away? It wont, it will stay forever. All that pain will eat away inside, without me even realising. One day it will show its ugly head in the form of a bitter, twisted, single mum who hates men (and women) and will just be sad. I certainly do not want to be that person. I want to stay me.
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Everyone is beautiful

I have never been short of friends and never been short of friends. At school I had lots of girlfriends and everyother week I had a new boyfriend. Haha! Although I was bullied, by just a couple of boys. They were so so mean! I was never 'miss popular' and I was never the 'boffin' I was not a 'geek' I was just me.  Thats all I have ever been, me. I'm like a jigsaw peace that doesn't quite fit, it has that extra notch on it.... I truely believe, ALL people should take ALL people for there good and bad.  Everyone is beautiful. Everyone has flaws. Everyone is strong and everyone is weak at times. Everyone has naughty secrets and everyone lies.... Why? because we are all scared of the truth. Why? Because people dictate who and what we should be. Media, schools, exams, careers, money, even our warped view of  love dictates to u s.  If we are not there idea of normal, we need to lie about who we are....Who are all these people we are worried about? Those who tr
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Where did it begin...

I start to wonder. When did this all start? Where did I go wrong? DID I go wrong or Is this the path my soul wanted me to take? Why me? Why do I forgive so much?  I just don't get it!  I can't start this blog at the beginning as I am not sure where the beginning is. I'm just going to write as and where my thoughts and experiences take me.  I was married young, to my sweetheart. I really wanted to be happy and have a growing career and to be successful. I thought marriage and money meant success.... At 21 I had a lovely, gorgeous church wedding with an amazing honeymoon of 3 weeks in St Lucia, I had a job with huge money prospects and I was doing really well.  At 23, stood in my own house, in my own kitchen, giving my baby bulldog big huggles (all this and i was only 23!) and I thought. Gosh. Im pregnant?! Along came my gorgeous baby boy.....2 days before my 24th birthday.  Life was amazing and everything I had planned. Note: Planned .  I gave into the pressure of marriage
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